Breaking news this morning -- Joe Biden won Arizona!
"Yes, the same thing Joe reported last month holds true today, the Senate confirms President Biden and the election was not stolen from former president Trump," Mika Brzezinski reported this morning.
"Even now, supporters of the ex-president including Greg Abbott are digging deeper. You can trace it all back to Donald Trump's lies and the insurrection they helped inspire. Now the committee investigating that attack wants to know what the former president's top aides knew and when they know it. Joe. gosh!"
"Wait, just delightful, isn't it?" Joe Scarborough chortled.
"The poor employee of Fox News who had to quit after calling Arizona for Joe Biden. I mean, how could he do that. To lie and say the elections stolen and coming up with all the bamboo stuff. At the end of the day, Joe Biden gets more votes. The Cyber Ninjas end up saying oh, wait a second, Biden not only won but he gets more votes.
"This would be like somebody hiring a group of gnarly bank robbers to go in and do a heist of the bank. The bank officials walk in and the bank robbers are counting the money. We have done an audit. You are actually $10,000 short. we are giving you $10,000. It's the exact opposite of the scam that Trump supporters are trying to set up. It really is -- seriously, can't make it up."
While this is funny (God knows, they're the gang that couldn't shoot straight), the ultimate story is that Trump is setting in place a mechanism by which he can steal the next election, and don't you forget it. Get out and vote in your states for honest election officials.
UPDATE: The statement was removed from the Trump website.